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The Dallas Palace

Not to be confused with Ron Jeremy

—Alcohaulin' Ass


HELLYEAH- Alcohaulin’ Ass

This might be the worst song ever written.

What kind of sick fuck drinks lime-flavored beer?

My Jewish lawyers have advised me to say that I do not support, nor would I ever actually fund, a cum assault on any sitting US Senator. These comments were said in jest and should not be taken seriously. Please do not fling anything, even cum, at Ted Cruz’s face. Thank u

—Last night, readers of the conservative garbage heap known as got very butthurt over a tweet I wrote about flinging cum on Sen. Ted Cruz’s face. So here’s the response I crafted with the help of my Jewish lawyers. (via joemande)

Fuck cops, bosses, rapists, racists, Presidents, the money
economy, Border Patrol, prisons, cat callers, haters. Go feminists, anarchists, indigenous communities, gift economies, queers bashing back, apolitical violent hoodlums, border crossers, friends, and totally making out for like hours.

—Pat the Bunny  to the question: “What do you want people to know about you?” (via st0nerpunk)

Anonymous asked: Your comment about people with adult acne was completely pointless and rude. Some people don't want to or can't go on accutane due to health risks. Most of the time face washes and external treatments never work for people with severe acne. I understand that you're a 'comedian' and I'm not sure if it was meant to be some sort of 'enlightening' humour but how about you spend your time making jokes about things worth laughing at. In other words, mind your own damn business and be nice.



Everyone on Tumblr is a cunt.

The Beatles

—You Never Give Me Your Money


You Never Give Me Your Money - The Beatles